TBA- school so far!

To be announced! Just a little catch up on life; schools going okay I guess, after spring break though I find it hard to even find the energy to pick up a pencil. As long as I graduate, I'm good. My OCC classes are also rapping up, the CNA class has been over for awhile, and its been really cool not having to go to another class once I get out of school. English 101, I hated; I had way different expectations of the class then what it actually was. I think I may have turned in maybe one or two papers, and I'm sure my grade will equally reflect that effort(Can't wait to hear about that one from mom). High schools been a whirl wind, it seems that just yesterday I was stepping into a new world as a freshman. Now, im so ready to graduate! I'm going to miss my teachers and all my friends, but college will be like another new world, and soon I'll be graduating from there too!

Like my Shadow in the Sun

My care is like my shadow in the sun—
Follows me flying, flies when I pursue it,
Stands, and lies by me, doth what I have done;
His too familiar care doth make me rue it.
No means I find to rid him from my breast,
Till by the end of things it be supprest.

This part of the poem I believe she is talking about her love. She will always have that love, and hates that she has it. She feels that she must surpress these feelings, to be the queen and rule her people. I can relate to this as well. To love somone so intenly, and want to be loved back. But that love isn't whats right, or whats best. Try to run and it follows you, try to chase, and the love is gone. She says no means to rid from my breast, she can't get rid of her feelings. Of course not, means of the heart don't just come and go on command, so she surpresses these feelings. Burrying them deep into her heart, only to feel the agonizing chase in only her heart.

Grievance-

I grieve and dare not show my discontent;
I love, and yet am forced to seem to hate;
I do, yet dare not say I ever meant;
I seem stark mute, but inwardly do prate.
I am, and not; I freeze and yet am burned,
Since from myself another self I turned.

This part of the poem is one of my favorites. By Queen Elizabeth the depth and emotion poured into poem will have effects lasting far beyond the ink of the page. I think that everyone can relate to this. Everyone in their lives has once come to a point where they feel the same. To show no emotion, to hide ones true feelings from the world. In her case, it was because of her position of power, however, with most people it is to protect themselves. Protecting from other peoples opinons, from their discresions, their judgments. The last line is very powerful. From myself another self I turned. I know that feeling, with time and lessons learned we loose the innocence of who we once were, and turn into someone who can survive. Who learns to cope, and learns how to be or what to say to get by. I love this poem, and can cherish and relate to almost every line.

UGH! PART 2

I am getting so sick of boys! High school boys, college boys, it doesn't make any difference! I've only had three relationships my entire high school career; the last one didn't end pretty, and wasn't even a good relationship. My newest one however, I was really excited about. I was finally dating again, and happy with who I was dating. That was until I found out that an ex girlfriend was in the picture. Really? Again, seriously? I find that I seem to be the girl that always gets cheated on, or screwed over in the relationship. So after that bit of drama, this particular guy had told me that he wanted to be with me instead. I should of known, I shouldn't of just believed it would be that easy. But of course I did, so we spent the next two days in new relationship bliss. Playing around, making out all the time, and just enjoying being with each other. Until one morning, when I get the random text that he just wants to be friends. Of course to save my pride, I said I agreed, and was thinking the same thing. What a jerk though, to lie to me, not even telling me the real reason, which was to get back with his ex girlfriend that he supposivly choose me over. Right. Boys are stupid, and immature, and I can't wait until I actually find one thats mature, and a nice guy. How hard can that be?!

Prom!

Finally! I'm actually excited about prom now. My guy troubles seemed to have gone from bad, to good, and then to worse. Dumped my old boyfriend, so I got a new one! Well this new one didn't want to go to prom, fine with me, as long as I could find someone else to go with. Which up until Saturday, wasn't happening. Finally out of desperation I asked a guy I work with, and surprise surprise; he said yes! So yay! Kira now has a prom date now! Too bad I still don't have a dress, haven't even begun to think about flowers and colors, blah. All that in time will come, but I'm just glad I have a date now!

Ambition?

Ambition, the motivation of the world, allowing people to complete their life dreams, and maybe even better the world; but is it always a positive thing? I believe not, ambition just as it is, is a good thing, having the drive and motivation to do the things you want. However, there is a point when that ambition can just become pure insanity. When Ambition turns negatively, for example, when someone wants a position of power so badly that do immoral, or illegal things to get that position, this is when ambition is no longer a positive thing. Negative ambition may never go as far as murder, or coup, but certain immoral acts revolving around ambition could lead to it.

Does a time period affect morals?

Morals? Ha, who has those anymore? But, who didn’t have those at one point in time. Time period defiantly affects morals. Looking back into history we see a degeneration of morals. In earlier times, drinking, smoking, sex; all these things weren’t a part of your everyday society, they weren’t openly talked about, and defiantly not advertised. Take a good look around today’s society however, and you might be a little shocked, and embarrassed. Sex, alcohol, smoking, drugs, can be found in almost every common conversation, billboard, advertisement, and internet site. As the times changed and new things introduced, people become less affected by it, and creating a moral degeneration. I can’t speak on these things because I myself am a great example of the new generation and new morals. My parents despise smoking; however I’ve been smoking for two years now. Sex, and don’t sugar coat it pretending it doesn’t happen, it does. Hello, teen pregnancy? My grandparents are constantly having talks with me about how in their day this and this didn’t happen! I say, as people progress, things that are supposed to be not talked about or done, are done just because of that reason. Which is why I believe there’s such a moral degeneration throughout our times and different standard social morals.

Ignorant Word Vomit!

So today were sitting in English Class, and Mrs.Mcdaniel is off on one of her silly rants. Telling stories of past and just kidding around with us, but today, I do believe I heard the best saying that I have ever heard in my life. Mcdaniel was talking about a old memory of her child hood, and about an old friend of hers who added her on facebook. When on said persons facebook, she said she saw absolutely "Ignorant Word Vomit!" about the schools and everything else. It may not be that funny to you, but something about that saying is hilarious to me. I cant wait to use that saying during an arugment or disagreement, It's going to be great!

The Missing Peice

We just got done watching a youtube video, Shel Silversteins "the Missing Peice." The story is of a, well...pacman like figure. Whos missing a piece so he can't roll very fast, he feels incomplete. On his journey to find his missing piece, he stops to smell the flowers; feel the rain, lay in the sun, and chat with worms. On his trip he finds many pieces, all of them not fitting, and so with a heavy heart filled with doubt and dissapointment, he continues on his way. However when he finds his missing piece, he discovers that things aren't the same. No longer can he stop to smell the flowers, or talk with the worm. He can no longer sing, and just rolls and rolls. The messsage I get out of this poem may be a little different than what everybody else does. People are in such a hurry to find what their missing, to discover something that makes them seem complete; that they rush past all the beauty and joys of life. They don't have time just to lay in the sun, or stop and smell the flowers. They aren't inspired by the beauty of nature and life, simply driven by the desire to find something they believe is missing. And sometimes, when they find that piece that they believe is missing, they discover the truth. That the energies they put in to countless hours of searching, wasn't what made them complete, or made them feel like they had found their missing piece. Instead they continue on, and like the character in this poem, needing to go on not just searching, but living. Stoping to enjoy the serene of the search, the small things that pass us in everyday life. The little joys that are often overlooked, but are the key to helping fill the missing peice.

First Free Write

The first day of class we did a free write, on what we knew, and needed to know about writing. Well first of all, how do you answer that question? Of course I know what I know, but how do I know about what I dont already know? I suppose I thought I knew everything about writing, It would be the same thing I've been learning for the past 12 years right? Oh how wrong the adolesant mind can be. I began to free write, on what I felt I knew and needed to know. We wrote, and wrote, I really only had one thing down on my free write that I needed to know more about, which was grammar of course. However, once she started talking, my head did a bit of a 360. Arguments and the structures of arguments, I didn't have a clue. There's alot more to writing that I have yet to learn, and I'm glad my English 101 class is expanding that opportunity. I think I can wait a little bit until we make that free write an actual paper though.

His name is still Benzly,

Here recently you all know of my new kitten, Benzly. Well one day, I have no idea how this came about, my boyfriend Jeremy was playing with the kitten, "Come here Gizmo." This made me stop, Gizmo? Since when the heck was his name Gizmo? He was fine with the name Benzly for the past two days. Thats boys for you I guess, always changing their minds when they think of something new. I ask him about it, at first getting mad, Benzly was the one name I would train him to acknowledge. Of course Jeremy has his own opinion and say about everything, so Gizmo is now one of Benzlys new nicknames, not given by me of course.(: Benzlys still the cute little kitten from a few days ago, alot more comfortable and used to his enviornment, but still a little kitten.

Mothering Mother

In my English 101 class, we are reading Mothering Mother. At first I really didn't think that I would like the book. The beginning was choppy, and I didnt really understand. Now however, that I'm reading further into the book, I'm starting to see the conflict. The story is of a woman, grown herself with children and a husband, her mother, lives with them. Every day a battle with parkinsons disease for the womans mother. The story envelopes the different emotions and tearing mental battles the woman goes through to take care of her now degenerating mother. The emotional trials of her mother becoming so depend for care, but still thinking that she was independant. The more and more the Mothers memory loss and loss of function, the more strain and emotion we see in the Daughter. The battle of no longer becomes should we keep her or put her in a nursing home, but is keeping her going to drive the daughter to insanity. I haven't finished the book yet, but I'm sure it wont be a disappointment.

Cats dont like hair dryers either,

So having my new kitten Benzly is great, a little more responsiblity than I originally thought; but all worth the while still. Well, little benzly came home as more than just a bundle of fur. While laying in bed one night I was petting his stomach, and I'll be, if I didnt see one, just one, tiny black spec quickly scatter across Benzlys white fur. How fabulous, one day, and fleas? So the next morning I went to Walmart, got a flea colar and some flea shampoo. Everyone knows on average cats dont like water other than to drink. How bad could it be though, it's just a little kitten? Oh, very bad. My stupid, ignorant self, wore a tank top to give Benzly a bath in, I will never make that mistake again. Poor Benzly, (not!) that kitten tore my chest up! Scratches and scrapes! Ugh! It only got better however, when I tried to blow dry him. Turns out that was way worse for me then trying to give him a bath. In all his drastic attempts to get away from the blow dryer, he also made sure to leave several long scratches down the palms and backs of my hands. Thanks alot Benzly! I did learn a valuable lesson though, I'll never try to blow dry him again.

Benzly!(:

So on January 15, 2010, the I met newest member of my family and cutest little furball ever. The story however, of how I got this little kitten, is quite crazy- and proves just how insane my family is. That day was just like any other day, I went to school and came home, how ever one variable would change the entire agenda. My mom was home, that was something different; when I came in of course she was in her typical dress. Sweatpants and a sweatshirt that's too big, making her have zero for the amount of figure. She was cleaning up her room, packing up clothes that her or dad couldn't or wouldn't wear. Some how through out our small talk leading into conversation, I had said that I wanted a kitten. I still have no idea what made me say that I wanted a kitten, but I do love my little puff of fur. Nothing weird about this right? ...wrong, Mom must of had an extra dose of cheer that day because she was all about it. We left not even ten minutes later, headed off for the animal shelter! After an exciting trip to the no kill shelter, and a few extra scratches; we were back home. Of course the plan then was for me to pick up my check from work, while mom went and got my little sisters. Well, after getting my check, I ended up stopping by Pet Food Center, and then walking back to the kittens I saw them! The cutest kittens I have ever seen in my life! It was so hard to choose which one, and I made such rash decisions. Picking and choosing random items and not caring about the cost. Of course now I wish I wouldve thought about that part. So the kitten I picked was a little orange tabby. With a dark M marking on his forehead and big cute green eyes, hes my little kitten.(:

Act l, scene ll

This scene was my groups, and it was so funny! In the begining we had this big thought out plan of how things would go, but instead nothing ended up going that way. It started off a passive man and his aggresive wife find an illegal way to take over the country I was "running". The other girl in our group Katie, playing my "lover". The illegal way to take over was to kill myself and Katie, so it started off with the two talking, and Katie and I walking in; asking if any affairs were needed to be taking care of, and this is where things went wrong. Instead of originally saying yes, Jeffrey said no, haha, which put a bit of an akward pause in our skit, then recovering saying we needed to be down the hall in 10 minutes, so we turn- and problem number 2, Nicole the aggresive wife, was supposed to hit us over the head, but instead stabbed me in the back! Haha, in my stupidy of not knowing how to improvise, I turned around confused, then dropped to the ground when I heard laughter from other classmates. All and all it was a great skit! Even if we did do a little more improvising then planned.

Act l, scene l

Today in english was the best! We were all given different scenarios to act out in class, all the groups were fabulous, and also hilarious! So group one, hence scene l; they're was about three girls who are given a crown to become princess, the two girls talk about it, then the one decides that her friend should get the crown because she wanted it more, however in the tragic plot twist, the girl without the crown stabs the other one violently with a plastic star wars light saber, and takes the crown for herself! Many of the scenes have similar schemes, and involves how humans do crazy things for the items they want.

Changing Schedules, Changing times

So today I do believe was the best day that I've had at school on my new revised schedule. At first I thought it was going to be horrible! All new classes when I've spent pretty much the whole year in classes with all the people I had talked to and become friends with, and now I had to start all over! The first two days weren't exactly awful, but they weren't like the old ones. But today, with Mrs.Mcdaniels help, (thanks!) I think I've adjusted to my new classes to where they're alot more enjoyable now. This morning's first period class was what really made me change my mind to just sit through all my classes to making new friends and talking to different people. Throwing us all together and having fun and laughing that first class really changed my attitude for the entire day, and even for tomorow. So the new schedule change may have been terrible at first, but I think I'll enjoy it from now on.